How to talk to anyone: the experts' guide

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This article, written by Rosie Ifould highlights some of the main tips for talking to your children, parents, strangers and bosses. It includes interviews and quotes from family therapist Karen Holford, Susan RoAne, Dr Ayan Panja, Dan Williams and Madeleine Mason, Linda Blair and David Cairncross.

Karen Holford gives the advice that when speaking to children, we should try to understand what they are saying instead of picking up on mistakes of language. This will help them to realise that we are listening and do care, as well as asking questions - this makes us seem like we are listening, even if we aren't. 'Try to meet your child’s emotions, rather than telling them how to feel.'

Susan RoAne, the author of 'How To Work A Room' speaks about how to talk to strangers. At first, the situation may be awkward, but we need to remember 'that most people in any room feel uncomfortable' and we need to accommodate them, because the chances are that they're feeling the same way.

Step away from your phone: The new rules of conversation

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This article written by Oliver Burkeman highlights the idea that people, especially kids are living in a virtual world while simultaneously living in reality.

Burkeman speaks about the attitudes we have towards each other and how when in public, we don't act how we used to around people. he states that he has witnessed people communicating on their phones with other people, while being face to face with someone initiating a conversation. He explains that situations like these are what is dividing us - 'We’re more connected than ever, yet we talk – really talk – less and less.'

The fact that people use online social media in order to create a virtual life for themselves may be a way for us to completely change ourselves, with no real life implications. Obviously there are exceptions; many problems occur online. However, we can be whoever we want to be because we are simply behind a screen. Contrastingly, he says 'Anyway, don’t we edit ourselves offline just as much as in cyberspace – in our choice of clothes and haircut and makeup and the books we carry on the train?'

The overall verdict of this article is that we are increasingly using social media which is affecting our social skills in every day life. Even kids are becoming 'skilled' at multi tasking - concentrating on their phones while keeping a conversation going.

Stereotypes with Language and Gender

Here are some main ideas about how the stereotypes of men and women portray people.

• Women gossip
• Men are strong and silent
• Women talk about domestic and personal trivia
• Men talk about important things such as business, money and government
• Women have soft and gentle voices
• Women screech
• Men have deep, reassuring tones
• Men convey confidence and authority

You Don't Hate Feminism. You Just Don't Understand It.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/07/24/you-don-t-hate-feminism-you-just-don-t-understand-it.html#

This article written by Emily Shire perfectly highlights the point that feminists are often misunderstood. She explains that men and a lot of women don't support the aim of feminism, but only because they have not fully grasped the concept of it.

 

The Women Against Feminism campaign has seemed to attract a number of people. 'The Tumblr started in the summer of 2013. The Facebook group, which was created in January 2014, has 12,000 likes'. This suggests that it's more than just a few people who have lost their way that support this movement. Even singer and public idol Katy Perry said 'I am not feminist, but I do believe in the power of women.' She recently changed her view after learning and realising the real aims of feminists. 'At its most core basic level, feminism is about equality between the sexes, not advancing one over the other.'

 

So, the overall opinion of this article seems to be that anyone and everyone that believes in equal rights between men and women is a feminist. 'People do not realize you can be a feminist and pro-life. You can be a feminist and a stay-at-home mom. You can be a feminist and disagree with the birth control mandate of Obamacare.'

Kirsty Wark: Blurred Lines



Kirsty Wark: Blurred Lines - The New Battle of the Sexes

Key points highlighted from this programme shown on BBC are:

• Men feel as if they can speak about women in a negative and derogatory way
• A major influence to how genders are treated is technology
• Technology allows people to write and share comments - much more permanent online
• Forms of prejudice often stem from humour and are explained as banter
• Acceptability of offensive language towards women can depend on context and outside factors
• Sexism has moved from private to public
• Sexist humour can facilitate sexism

Deborah Cameron

Deborah Cameron in Verbal Hygiene (1995)

• Throughout Western culture the masculine/male has been the unmarked normality in the language
• The feminine/female is the marked form for language
• E.g. Unmarked male forms used to be 'manager', 'usher' and 'Paul'
• E.g Marked female forms used to be 'manageress', 'usherette' and 'Pauline'

The 3Ds

3 theorists: Jennifer Coates, Deborah Tannen and Robin Lakoff thought of 3 factors in which langauge and gender is effected by:
Difference - Deborah Tannen (1989)

• Sees women as belong to different 'sub-cultures' 
• Women are differently socialised from childhood onwards
•  Women are naturally more timid and shy when it comes to being in conversation
• 'The desire to affirm that women are equal has made some scholars reluctant to show that they are different. There are gender differences in ways of speaking, and we need to identify and understand them'

Dominance - Jennifer Coates (1993)

• Women are the oppressed group
• Men are the dominant gender and women subordinate more
• We live in a patriarchal society
• Males dominate the world and positions of power and authority
• Women try to avoid conflict and hurting feelings

 Deficit - Robin Lakoff (1975)

• Male language is more powerful, more prestigious and more desirable
•  Women speak less frequently 
• Women use hedges ('sort of', 'kind of')
• Super polite forms
• Apologise more frequently
• Use tag questions
• Lakoff admits 'It is my impression, though I do not have precise statistical evidence'